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2004-01-10 10:51 p.m.

the biggest fish gets that way by never being caught

According to the sleeve, the lyrics to that one Howard Jones song (you know the one) are actually "Wow Wow Wow Oh, Wow Wow Wow Oh Oh Oh," and not "Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa," as I had thought. Can you believe I was hearing it wrong all this time?

We saw Big Fish tonight. Of course I absolutely loved it. Actually, I was worried it wouldn't live up to the hype, but it really was inexpressibly wonderful. It put a big stupid grin on my face, which isn't an everyday occurrence. 4 stars

And is that Alison Lohman super-cute, or what? That was it for me, man- she is officially inducted into the Pantheon as a Major Goddess. In fact, it used to be a Trinity, but we're changing the whole name of the organization just for her.

We're considering opening up another spot, as well, and Scarlett Johannson is currently under consideration for the position. We're still reviewing her credentials, but we feel pretty optimistic. Don't call us, we'll call you!

Someone got here by searching for "Love Psychedelico translation." It's a sign! I have to start an English language Love Psychedelico page, complete with lyrics translations! It'll be hyper-cool. (I hereby declare "hyper-cool" to be the new "in" phrase. You are hereby notified to integrate it into your everyday vocabulary immediately. As always, we thank you for your cooperation in this and all other unreasonable demands.) But first things first. Where should I put this hypothetical web page?

Oh, we saw Mona Lisa Smile last week, too. I thought it had well-drawn characters and was all in all a nice little sketch of a time and place. And it was awesome to see Kirsten Dunst being so evil. She's so good at it. If she plays her cards right, she could be upgraded to Major Goddess, too.3 stars

In other news, I am all in a tizzy and more confused than ever.

That is all.

wondering if all the world is jails and churches,