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2005-01-15 1:44 p.m.

just let go my party piece

I recently returned from my little tour of southeast Asia. It was lovely. Maybe I'll talk more about it later. It's nice to be back to my isolation here, though. I'm hibernating a bit this weekend, resetting my brain back to Japan mode.

Little Wing is expecting the birth of her first child next month. Yay for her.

In other news, Kami is at this very moment boarding a plane to Canada. While I was gone her creepy ex more or less proposed to her.

He called her every night, crying all the time, saying he can't eat or study, saying if she didn't come back to him he wanted to die. She started emailing him every day, and if any given day she didn't, he would call, freaking out. She had told him she would call today before leaving for the airport, but she forgot. He called her cell phone, freaking out once again, asking if it was because of me that she didn't call. (It wasn't.)

Since he dumped her she's gained a little perspective and realized that he treated her like shit. When confronted with this, he insisted he had changed and it would be different now. When she suggested that he would likely change back if she returned, he of course insisted that he would not.

So, she made the decision to go see him, to evaluate the situation directly and decide what to do. The complication here, of course, is that she seems to have fallen for me. She's also told him everything about her and me, because she feels it's dishonest not to. (Though perhaps I'd prefer it if the information on me she gives out to those who have threatened to kill me was kept to a minimum.)

Of course, I'm of the opinion that this guy is tossing out warning signs like candy at a Fourth of July parade and that she should leave him to his wolves. I think she has no obligation to tell him anything about her life right now. I've told her this, as well, but I also told her that she has to do what she feels is right, and I won't try to stop her from doing so.

I'm trying make a distinction between myself and the ex, you see.

Though it is an interesting situation, I'm not too worried about it. If she would go back to a guy like that, then she was a waste of my time, anyway. I've no interest in such a woman. Just the fact that she's going to Canada to see him is a little... silly, I think. Part of me hopes she does go back to him, just to save me the trouble of having to figure out what to do with her. We'll burn that bridge when we come to it, I suppose.

She does have a certain spark, a spunk, a sassiness, an energy, an aggressiveness, that I'm drawn to and would be sad to lose, however. mou naru you ni nare da ne.

What does worry me, a little, is if she decides to dump the guy while she's over there and he responds by really freaking out. But it'll probably be fine.

I feel a little empty right now.

I've been listening to Disintegration a lot lately.

i miss the kiss of treachery,