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2000-02-06 22:59:52

thoughts on ravings and other ramblings

It was a day of mood swings today. From ecstatic to fetal postion in a dark room. Right now I'm somewhere in between.

I'm a monster at minesweeper. I can go faster than most people would believe possible- faster than I would have once thought possible. Play a half hour a day for several years and you, too, can be a Minesweeper Monster. I could teach a class on minesweeper, man. If I ever start a real web page, I'll probably include a section on minesweeper strategy. My best time on Advanced is 83 seconds, and my best time in Beginner is 4 seconds (which was achieved today- whoopee). I rarely ever play Intermediate. I've been playing free cell a lot more than minesweeper lately, though- it's easier to do other stuff while playing it. It's a lot better than normal solitaire because not only does it require more thought, but you're a lot more likely to win. I try to keep my win percentage at about 80%. The most I've won in a row is 26, I think. My dad claims to have won over 100 in a row.

Wow. I really am a loser, aren't I?.

An explanation of Ravings. That was the first little bit of a work in progress that I keep on my computer, adding more whenever I feel like it. Basically I just sit down, let my brain loose from the restraints of logic, and write more or less whatever comes to mind. It's quite cathartic, I do recommend it. So, if you'd like to psychoanalyze me, that'd be a good place to start. What I posted last time is about 15% of the whole. It's mostly random words from my head, with spattering of quotes (mostly song lyrics). The thing as a whole is of varying levels of coherency, but nothing ever approaching a truly rational thought. Kind of like the entries of this diary, now that I think of it... Anyway, I always find it amusing to read the results, but I don't know if my gentle readers (if such there be) think so as well...

(Why do horses have shoes? Is there a horse sock? Is anybody listening to me?)

Mornings are nasty for me. My mind after waking (or at least, after dragging my warm corpse from bed) usually consists of a stream of profanity. (Which has recently gotten an interesting boost from unclebob) Most people learn pretty quick not to talk to me in the morning. Because really, I'd just as soon kill you as look at you before ten in the morning. But some people just don't seem to get it, either because they're stupid or out of some misguided attempt to cheer me up or some such thing like that. I haven't yet wrapped my hands around some poor fool's throat while using my thumbs to press the adam's apple against the thoracic vertebrae and saying in a low, scratchy, slightly unbalanced voice, "shhhhhut... uuuuup," but some people have pushed me awfully close. So, the moral of the story is, if you ever have the privilege of being present just after I've been forcefully dragged from the loving arms of my dearly loved mistress (that would be Sleep), DON'T TALK TO ME, OR I WILL KILL YOU.

The theory is since I spent most of the day sleeping, I can stay up late tonight studying or whatever and still be okay to get to class tomorrow. It never seems to work that way in reality, but hey, it's not me that has to deal with it, right?

most listened to albums of 1999: Version 2.0 by Garbage and The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner by Ben Folds Five (honorable mentions- Prolonging the Magic by Cake, Pablo Honey by Radiohead, Love Songs for Underdogs by Tanya Donnelly)

most listened to album of all time: The Real Thing by Faith No More

favorite album: Siamese Dream by Smashing Pumpkins

favorite poets: T.S. Eliot and e.e. cummings

i know it seems that i don't care
but something in me does i swear
i don't remember all last year
i left you awake to cry the tears
while i was dreaming in streams
flowing between the shores of joy and sadness
i'm drowning
save me wake me up

when i can i will,