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2000-02-17 23:20:54

trusting rusted rails

"Unconscionable love, to what extent will you not drive our hearts?"

Oh my. I've never slacked so much as I have this week. But it's not my fault! It's... Ultima. Ultima 9. I started playing last Sunday, just to give it a go, you know? I'll try it once, and that will be the end of it. You know, just so I can say I experienced it. I can quit anytime I want. Really! I've had it for a few months, but just got around to starting up recently- which is good in a way, because the patch that updates the game to the point it should have been before they ever shipped was just recently released. And it has devoured me. I'm embarrassed to say this, but playing that game and the quest to get it to run well has become my number one priority... (I think almost everything I know about computer hardware and operating systems has been learned trying to get games to work) I haven't really even gotten on the internet (except to download the odd patch or new device driver for my graphics card) all week... It's seriously bad. I just can't resist the urge to keep playing- to start and just play "for a little while," to just go a little further... This isn't good news for my grades, either... Yesterday I played from about 4pm to 6pm, and then 7:30 pm to 3:30 am. And that's pretty typical of the week so far. It's disgusting and pathetic. Disturbing even. I really, really need to do a lot of studying for a test I have tomorrow, but there's a fair chance I'll just go back to playing It. I'm surprised I've managed to take the time to write this.

Yesterday, between 5 and 6 am, 10,000 copies of the campus newspaper were stolen off the racks around campus (about 25% of them were found in garbage cans).

Well, I had my little waltz competition last Tuesday, and got cut after the first round. The problem isn't that I don't know what I'm doing so much as it is that I tend to suddenly forget what I'm doing in the middle of doing it. Today I was tested on the waltz, and that actually went pretty well.

Oh- I learned a fun sentence in Japanese today. Niwa ni wa niwa niwa. Which means, "In the garden there are two chickens."

Sometimes I feel like a tragic hero, heading inexorably towards a pathetic but suitably ironic demise. And other times I feel like an extra in the movie of life- just there to make the surroundings of the main characters seem realistic.

do you ever get the feeling that the story's too damn real and in the present tense?
or that everybody's on the stage and you're the only person sitting in the audience?

i don't need a hand; there's always arms attached,