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2000-03-05 22:50:02

the trick is to keep breathing

Well, so, yeah I had a date the other night. And it was, umm, fun, and all, but, like, I felt really depressed afterwards? Because I just, like, can't, like, umm, connect with people anymore?

But we don't want to talk about that, do we?

Enough sentences ending in question marks. Decisiveness, confidence, and clarity is what we need now. Period. ...

I'm really surprised by how much I didn't get done this weekend. I did manage to make it to shotokai at 8am Saturday morning, but when I got back I slept till 4pm. Yeah, now there's a productive day.

You know, logically, I know there's tons of reasons why most girls would want a guy like me, but the emotional reality is that I just can't fathom any girl having any interest in me. And the few girls who have made it abundantly clear to me that they do have interest in me I tend to consider somewhat unbalanced. Strange, but true. But this isn't a fun topic, is it?

What is more amusing? That I feel trapped in my life as it is right now? That I can't seem to break free of this feeling of quiet desperation? No, that's not very amusing.

I try not to whine, I really do. I'm just in one of those phases of my life right now. I'm sure I'll get out of this funk eventually.

if you ever need anything please don't
hesitate to ask someone else first
i'm too busy acting like i'm not naive
i've seen it all i was here first

i just want to be me,