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2000-03-17 17:52:55

guess what today is!

psst. hey. today's not just any day, you know.

do you know what today is?

huh? do ya?

What? St. Patrick? Who the hell is that? Today is St. William's Day, my friend. St. William "Billy" S. Corgan, that is. Yes, it's the good man's birthday, today. So celebrate by listening to Smashing Pumpkins all day. Don't leave your room. Don't shower, don't eat, don't sleep. Remain focused. Harness your chi, or something. (Apparently in Japanese it's "ki" (or maybe "kii") and not "chi." But "ki" also means "tree" in Japanese. So if you really want to, harness your tree. ... That sounds like a metaphor for masturbation, doesn't it? "Yeah, man- his mom walked in on him while was "harnessing his tree," if you know what I mean." Yeah. Well. Anyway.)

So. Yeah. I've set a vague goal to listen to all my Smashing Pumpkins CDs today, in order. That would include all of their albums (Gish, Pisces Iscariot, Siamese Dream, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Adore, and Machina: Machines of God), plus the Aeroplane Flies High box set. yeehaw.

You know, I'm really not obsessive about the Smashing Pumpkins. I listen to a lot of different stuff. But if I had to pick a favorite, it'd be them.

Yesterday a lot of people said "hi" to me. Like, people I don't even know. It was a little a scary... I mean... Is my superpower wearing off? No... That couldn't really happen... could it? Yes. I have a superpower. I really shouldn't just announce what it is in public, though. It would kind of negate it. ... But, as it seems to work through the internet just as well as in real life, why the hell not? Okay. This is secret. So... My secret super power is... The ability to be ignored. Pretty cool, huh? Most of the time it works pretty darn well. Even when I don't want it to... Anyway. Don't tell anyone, now. I'm placing a lot of trust in you.

That was apostrophe, I think. You know, when the author or whoever is addressing someone who may or may not be there, someone who may or may not even exist. Much like the readers of this diary.

I saw someone wearing a shirt once that said, "Do me a favor. Ignore me." I thought it was pretty cool. Though it's a paradox of course. Or an oxymoron. Antithesis, even. Take your pick.

I'm feeling fairly good today, oddly enough. Downright content. Which is really odd considering how much sleep I got last night and the fact that around midnight I was on the verge of "going postal." You know that Green Day song, "Having a Blast?" Yeah. Like that. But I feel pretty good right now. I have no control over my feelings anymore. Though more so now than a year go, geez...

"Course" starts tomorrow. The black belts and all. It should be enlightening. You know, they actually made me teach the white and red belts last night. It was... interesting. Reminded me of the old days when I coached swimming... I like teaching. Even when it's questionable whether I know what the hell I'm talking about.

My mother says one of the greatest social revelations of her college years was that other people cared what she thought about them. I don't think I've really realized that yet.

Well. I've listened to the new Smashing Pumpkins album a lot more since I last wrote. I think I like it. A lot. At least, I've been listening to it pretty much non-stop the past week. I like it better than Adore. Not that I don't like Adore- I do. Just not as much as their other albums. I think the new direction and sound of Adore has matured into Machina:Machines of God. The music is a lot more mellow, a lot more "ambient." I wouldn't classify any of the songs on Adore or Machina as "angry." The crunchy guitars are brought back for a few songs on Machina, but there's nothing as gritty or angry as "Ode to No One" and "Tales of a Scorched Earth." I really like Machina. But I kind of miss the "guitar heroics" of the older stuff. The older stuff seems a lot more technically complex and impressive, in my humble opinion. More symphonic. But, as Mr. Corgan himself said, "The only people who care about guitar solos are guitar players." It's probably true. I didn't even realize there WERE guitar solos in a lot of the music I listen to until I started working on learning to do it myself. And really, I'm glad the band's sound is evolving. It's bad form and poor art to just pound out the same old stuff over and over again just because it worked once. Anyway. At this point, I'd say my favorite song on Machina is "Blue Skies Bring Tears." Though these things are suject to change over time, of course. Especially when I'm first getting to know an album. For a long time my favorite song on Siamese Dream was "Hummer." (which I'm listening to right now, actually...) Now I'd have to go with "Mayonaise." I really love the little solo that finishes out "Hummer." It's like honey. The opening riff of mayo just puts my soul completely at rest and takes me away to a beautiful place...

Music is very important to me, you know.

Sometimes I wish my libido had an on/off switch. That would be really nice.

the sweetest flower i have ever devoured,