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2004-03-30 10:06 p.m.

here i dreamt i was an architect

and here i dreamt i was a soldier
and i marched the streets of birkenau
and i recall in spring the perfume that the air would bring to the indolent town
here the barkers call the moon down
the carnival was ringing loudly now
and just to lay with you there's nothing that i wouldn't do save lay my rifle down

Eh heh heh.


No, I'm not dead, or in a coma, or kidnapped by zombies who want to make me the Zombie King. I've just been in ultra hermit mode lately.

It's been 41 days since I updated. That might be a new record.

In my work as a substitute teacher, I've come to recognize in myself a strong tendency to adore people as individuals and despise in them in groups.

I saw Rufus Wainwright live about a month ago. It was awesome. In this day of producers with computers fixing shitty tracks, I am often less than impressed with live performances, but Rufus sounds just as good if not better live. It didn't hit home to me just what an awesome vocalist he is until he sang in my presence. I love Rufus with a love that is only faintly homosexual.

and i am nothing of a builder
but here i dreamt i was an architect
and i built this balustrade to keep you home, to keep you safe from the outside world
but the angles and the corners
(even though my work is unparalleled)
never seemed to meet, the structure fell about our feet, and we were free to go

I also saw the Decemberists, a band first mentioned to me by David and ultimately thrust upon me by Nemesis. They are my current "it" band, I guess you could say. After I got their first album, I went right out and bought everything else of theirs I could find, which I very rarely do. They may be destined for a place in the top five. Highly recommended.

Things with Nemesis are definitely past the intoxicatingly romantic phase and into reality now. We're having some of the same problems I had with Junko, which makes me wonder if the problem doesn't lie with me... Sometimes I wonder if I'm really prepared to be in a serious relationship at this point in my life.

She's awesome, though. I just finished reading a book she put in my hot hands, Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates by Tom Robbins. I liked it a lot like cool whip. It was subversive, even. I might even venture to call it more punk rock than punk rock. Though apparently many of his more avid readers prefer others of his books, so maybe I'll have to check out those...

Richard Clarke- a modern American hero.

here in spain i am a spaniard
i will be buried with my marionettes
countess and courtesan have fallen 'neath my tender hand when their husbands were not around
but you, my soiled teenage girlfriend
while you furrow like a lioness
we are vagabonds, we travel without seatbelts on, we live this close to death

guess it's better to turn this way,