German I know:

Du hast mich.

Achtung Juden!

What else do you need?

Now for some self-absoption. Skip the rest of this entry if that kind of thing bothers you. I did something stupid tonight. I was very close to getting into what could have been a very bad car accident, and it would have been pretty much entirely my fault, too. And this is the second time in the past couple of months that this has happened. It makes me feel stupid and nervous- can I really trust myself behind the wheel? Often lately I've been saying things to myself (and even to my mother, once) like, "Gee, I wish I'd get hit by bus or something. I could use a change of pace." It's karma, or something. Anyway, I had one of those "coming face to face with your own mortality" moments tonight... And afterwards, I actually suggested to myself that perhaps everyone might be better off if I was dead. It was pathetic, self-indulgent sniveling that I don't really mean, to be sure, but it disturbs me that I think things like that sometimes. I'd like to think, though, that I'm the kind of person who would keep on surviving no matter what.

I've set a goal to clean up my act for the remainder of the semester... We'll see if it actually happens. I'm actually in relatively good spirits right now, but I'm a little apprehensive about 7am, when I'll be needing to get up. I heard a Limp Bizkit song on the radio today- I think it was called "Break Something." It was pretty cool. My sister has their album, and though I like that cover of "Faith," I think most of their stuff is trash. In fact, most of the new bands that have come out in the last year are trash. Some of the older bands and artists have put out some really great stuff... But none of the brand new bands have been doing it for me. Am I just getting old, or what? (wow, this paragraph was quite a rambler, wasn't it?)

everywhere you are
is everywhere you've been
just lost to the beat
punching through your skin
you don't know what to do
but still you wanna crawl
all through the broken glass
that's everywhere you are

I always feel like Billy is referring to me when I hear that song...

I finished that stupid research paper I was working on- and I only turned it in an hour late! I was thinking about it, and religion isn't the only arena you'll find this problem of selective fact recognition. I had the same problem when I was doing a research paper on Kosovo about two years ago (which would be about one year before most Americans had ever even heard of it). History books of Kosovo are completely different, depending on whether the author is a Serb or a Kosovar... Anywhere where people do research with the goal of proving the validity of a specific point of view, instead of finding out the real facts, there is a danger of this happening. Really annoying.

Chuck claims I'm arrogant sometimes. My mom says she's right. Just because I'm aloof and quiet, does that make me arrogant? I suppose it's not bad to be arrogant, as long as it's good arrogance. I'm not quite sure what the difference between good and bad arrogance is, but I'd hope I have the good kind. Bad arrogance would probably be overbearing and conspicuous- someone who makes it abundantly clear that they are better than you. Good arrogance would be silent yet aggravating self-confidence- someone having a complete lack of concern for what others think of them. Bad arrogance- pro-wrestlers (with the exception of Sting, of course), Oasis, Kurt Russell characters... Good arrogance- Antonio Banderas (? ... well... maybe...), Smashing Pumpkins, Lestat, Squall in FF8... Actually, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Just disregard that last paragraph.

youth is wasted on the young,

greyarea

Diaryland