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2005-04-11 6:15 p.m.

review (revue? (revoyons?))

The archive problem seems to have been resolved.

I saw Envy. As advertised, it sucked. I mean, the actors did pretty good with what they had to work with, but... It just always felt like it was aiming at "funny" but hitting "disturbing." It sure as hell wasn't very funny. I give it 2 stars, but if not for the cast it would have gotten much worse.

I also watched On Golden Pond a while back. I had heard that the couple in this film was almost exactly like my paternal grandparents, and... it did remind me a lot of them. Grammy's always energetic and excited about everything, and Grandpa was always a grumpy old man. The actors, Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda, even LOOKED like my grandparents. 4 stars, for personal reasons. (If not for that, I'd give it 3, maybe. Hard to say.)

Saturday night I saw two films in the theater. The first was Un Long Dimanche de Fianšailles. I was very depressed afterwards. Not because of the story, but because I could barely understand a word of it. [sigh] I swear on Victor Hugo's grave that I used to speak French! I would have understood more of it if I had ignored the audio track altogether and just concentrated on reading the Japanese subtitles (which might be considered an encouraging sign where my Japanese is concerned), but that seemed silly. It was pretty good and all, but for now it will have to receive i (square root of negative one) stars. Alors. Did you know Jodie Foster spoke French so amazingly well?

Next I saw The Aviator. I really liked it. You gotta respect crazy sumbitches like that Howard Hughes fella. While I wouldn't say he and I have a LOT in common, that scene where he has dinner at the Hepburn Mansion is a scenario I've gone through all too often in my life. I don't usually freak out like that, but that's exactly what social situations are usually like for me. Is that why they call me a sullen boy? I much prefer the one on one setup. 3 stars, with opportunity for advancement.

After seeing the movies, I slept in a capsule hotel. As I fell asleep I was thinking about the differences and similarities between tigers and cheetahs. I had miniature ones that I was observing. Then I was attacked by a full-sized tiger. He attacked me from behind and clamped his jaws down on the back of my neck. I never had a chance. Sneaky bastards, those tigers, I tell you what.

That I night I think I had a dream that I was a Howard Hughes-style tycoon, wild-eyed and insane, off changing the world soley because I had the gall to think that I could. I don't really remember it, but I do know that at one point I woke up, vaguely troubled that my tail had overflowed my capsule and was filling up numerous other capsules that didn't belong to me. I was a giant black snake from the waist down, you see. But instead of taking steps to remedy the problem, I just went back to sleep. Fortunately, everything turned out alright in the end.

Then last night a strange sequence of events found me spending the night sleeping in Kami's very own bed (alone), in her parent's house, surrounded by pictures of her and Pralines and Dick. Comfy. I wish I could tell you about the weird and wonderful dreams I had THERE, but I don't remember a thing from any of them.

In other news, for purposes of this diary, I have christened Matchan's replacement (or rather, the woman whom Matchan was replacing) as "The Hawk." Actually, as far as that goes, so far so good. I think she's a great teacher. As far as our professional relationship goes, we're still testing the waters a bit, though. Today was our first class together.

In still other news, I am now the only child of my parents who is not engaged to be married. I'm also the oldest, incidentally.

I got a letter from the woman who talks to fish. They don't make stationery like that where I'm from.

Oh, and after completing great acts of cunning and valor, journeying to all ends of Kyushu, I was at last able to develop the shots I took at the aquarium of her talking to the fish. And the non-flash shot came out great.

And Mitch Hedberg... Man! I loved that guy. He was a kindred spirit if ever there was one.

In fact, he was responsible for one of my first terribly awkward moments with Nemesis. When our relationship was just starting out, I remember telling her, "I was watching this stand-up comedian last night, and he said something I just loved- 'I don't have a girlfriend, just a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that.' And I thought, hey- that's just like me! Isn't that funny?"

She didn't think it was. Oh, Mitch...

flashbulbs flash and corks screw,