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2001-04-13 12:52 a.m.

thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season

Everything seems desiccated today. I feel like a severed head on a pike.

sometimes these cogitations still amaze the troubled midnight and the noon's repose

Have you ever watched reruns of the old black and white Mickey Mouse Club at 2am with the volume turned all the way down while listening to Ween? I highly recommend it.

Yesterday it snowed for much of the day. Around 10 am, the snow was very odd- it was like powdered hail. It was like it was raining white sand, or salt. The wind was blowing very hard, and these little particles of ice would just slip into any openings in your clothing and rapidly begin to fill them up. They went down my shirt and filled up my coat pockets. Not fun. Today it was spring again, more or less.

We had April weather in January, and now we're getting January weather in April.

Maybe I should get a job as a waiter at Denny's over the summer...

I'm downloading the Debbie Does Dallas theme from Napster right now.

I saw Josie and the Pussycats today. Not a bad film. Rachael Leigh Cook is a fine looking young woman. Probably one of the most beautiful females alive.

I found a new stupid computer game obsession. It's called Princess Maker 2. The idea of the game is that you raise a daughter from age 10 to age 18. The English version was never officially released (it's a Japanese game from about 1993), but it is floating around out there... I had a hell of a time finding a way to extract the compressed version properly, and then getting the thing to work once it was uncompressed... But it's a charming and oddly addicting little game.

I have every reason to believe that tomorrow I will become a blue belt in shotokai karate. This is significant. Blue is sometimes called "assistant instructor level," and I expect it will be quite some time before I move up to the next level (brown). Brown belts can start their own shotokai clubs, with permission from the higher ups. I hope to make it to brown before I graduate.

I feel restless and dissatisfied today. I feel like a caged tiger, pacing endlessly back and forth.

"What say you? I was born to fly where I please, to live in the open air, to sing when I please. You deprive me of all this, and then ask what harm I suffer?"

(If I was a red haired felon, you could be my raven haired wife.)

I hate it when attitudes like this settle on me and color my view of things with such frantic apathy. Sometimes I feel like I will never leave this place... specialize, commit, devote- not yet please. maybe not ever. i say never be complete

our dried voices, when we whisper together, are quiet and meaningless as wind in dry grass or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar

between the desire and the spasm,