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2005-04-14 6:32 p.m.

rejections

Well, today I got my first rejection letter from a literary journal. The first of many, I hope!

Or... Well... Anyway.

Oh yeah. Maybe I shouldn't really call it a "literary journal." It's a "semi-professional" science fiction/fantasy publication run by students at my alma mater. The story I submitted is one I wrote a good five years ago, which I thought I might submit to them for kicks.

They said it was dense, vague, and confusing.

Well, it was supposed to be! Psh. I decided a long time ago that I'm not particularly interested in writing stories that tell you exactly what you're supposed to think and feel about their contents, that give easy answers to the questions they raise, where everything is tied up nice and neat with a pretty little bow at the end. Reality isn't like that, and neither am I. I'm all about the grey areas, yo. (Interestingly enough, as I input this entry there's a banner for someone's diary up above which reads "Some things are just black and white." Obviously, I won't be clicking.)

Perhaps I might sum up their criticism as "I don't get it."

Oh yeah? Well I don't feel the need to explain my art to you. I guess this story just isn't for you!

"It does help, to be a writer, to have the sort of crazed ego that doesn't allow for failure. The best reaction to a rejection slip is a sort of wild-eyed madness, an evil grin, and sitting yourself in front of the keyboard muttering 'Okay, you bastards. Try rejecting this!' and then writing something so unbelievably brilliant that all other writers will disembowel themselves with their pens upon reading it, because there's nothing left to write." -Neil Gaiman

So yeah, the story is old, and I'd like to think I've polished my craft a lot since then, and thus I can accept that maybe the story could use some work. And under duress I may even admit that some of their criticisms were probably valid. Maybe I'll go back and rework it sometime. Or maybe I'll work on something NEW.

Or maybe I should start writing porn, instead.

I saw the town stoplight turn red again yesterday, for the second time ever. I remember seeing the cars slow down and thinking, "Why the hell is that car stopping in the middle of the road? Is something wrong?" The truth, of course, was far more radical than my mind could possibly comprehend at that time.

Someone once jokingly told me that the reason the Rock even has ONE stoplight is for the education of the children, so when they go to the mainland they won't be confused.

A physics graduate student once told me, “People in the Chemistry Department don’t understand quantum mechanics at all! Their idea of quantum mechanics is that “an electron is both a particle and a wave.’ That’s stupid! It can’t be both! An electron exhibits properties of both a particle and a wave.”

Huh. That’s interesting, because you exhibit properties of both a dumbass AND an asshole, so does that mean it would be incorrect to conclude, therefore, that you ARE both a dumbass and an asshole?

It's starting to get warm again, and last night I encountered another large spider in my home. It wasn't of Aiko proportions, though. It was only about as big as the biggest spider I ever saw in the U.S. But I consider it a taste of things to come.

i can't wait till you try to come back, girl
when things they don't work out for you
who do you think you're messing with girl?
what do you think you're trying to do?

Oh yes. Yesterday Kami told me she thinks she made a mistake in dumping me for Pralines and Dick. She insisted she wasn't asking me to take her back, though. Cue me, rolling my eyes.

who do you think you're messing with girl?
what do you think you're trying to do?
do you really think i wanna be laughed at now?
who do you think you're trying to fool?

The final words of D.T. Suzuki's essay entitled, "Existentialism, Pragmatism, and Zen," from Zen Buddhism:

“Is God now in earnest engaged in the gigantic task of effacing man from the earth? Apparently he is. If so, inasmuch as man is man, he must have a philosophy to cope with the situation. Can Zen offer this?”

There is no answer; it just cuts off right there.

That is awesome.

i thought she made up her mind,

greyarea

Diaryland