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2002-04-17 8:50 p.m.

that's not really funny

Back from oblivion. Soon to return. Maybe.

"And I'm sick and tired of those little lids on coffee cups. If you don't wanna spill your coffee, you shouldn't be driving with it!"

I decided today that Dorothy is a strange sounding name. It's one of those names you've heard so many times in your life that you don't realize that it's just odd.

I'm going to take another French class Fall semester. I haven't abandoned French, in case you were wondering. Not by a long shot.

I'm a brown belt now. That's pretty significant. I'll remain at this level for the forseeable future.

you say a lot of funny things my little bunny
and i almost always laugh, but that's not really funny

I'm trying to decide what kind of person I should be, and what kind of life priorities I should have. Should I set out to make a difference? Should I try to make a lot of money and gain power? Or should I just live a quiet life that allows me time to pursue all my hobbies? Should I try to make a ton of money while I'm young and then take it easy when I'm older? Or should I make a ton of money when I'm young and then become the puppet master when I'm older? Or should I work my whole life just enough to be comfortable? Do I really want to be a puppet master? Didja ever see Being John Malkovich? Weren't those puppets freaky? Should I just get a job at a bookstore and use my free time to see about launching a music or writing career? Should I just get a job washing dishes and toss away thin paper dreams of ambition? Should I run off to a third world country and spend the rest of my life building latrines and schools? Should I go to medical school and THEN run off to a third world country? Do tell me what you think I should do. I won't guarantee I'll listen, but I'd like to hear.

I read my first Jonathan Carroll novel and my first Douglas Coupland novel last week. Sleeping in Flame and Girlfriend in a Coma, respectively. Sleeping in Flame was quite a charmer, and had the feel of a white background greying to black. Girlfriend in a Coma was one of those books that articulates all those thoughts you have that never quite materialized- one of those "what does it all mean" things. Though I don't agree that people are less alive now than they were before (though I guess I wouldn't really know)- plus the ending didn't sit well with me.

a little boy wipes his nose because it's runny
then looks at me and laughs, but that's not really funny

I don't really have any feelings or cleverness today. I am tired, though- does that count?

Semester's almost over. Then I laze around Las Vegas for a week or two, then I'm off to Japan in pursuit of DESTINY. Actually it probably won't be anything so exciting, but who knows? If you happen to be in Nagano-ken over the summer, give me a visit, eh?

warm and golden like an oven that's wide open,