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2001-05-23 12:04 a.m.

a life too ordinary

Let's update, shall we? I'm a horrible diarist, I know.

What is new? Well... Let's start off with whining about mediocrity. I had my first analytical chemistry test about a week ago. It wasn't that hard, and I thought I did really well on it- in fact I thought I might have gotten a perfect score. But when I got it back, I found I received a 73. The average was 71, so I didn't bomb it, but... I'm so very (I'm trying to cut down on profanity) tired of having this experience with my chemistry tests. From organic chemistry on I've had this experience with almost every single chemistry test I've taken, and it's really starting to grate on me. This doesn't happen in physics, or math, or genetics, or Japanese, or history, or anything else. Just chemistry. My major. Apparently it's one of the more demanding majors offered on campus, and I know for a fact that the grading curve they use is more severe than that used by other departments, but... There's really no reason I should't be getting As on these tests. Some people are fine with mediocrity. I know people whose whole goal in life is to be normal, ordinary. Well, that's not good enough for me. I want to be extraordinary. I have to be... And yet, I'm not quite devoted enough to it (chemistry) to really give it the time it deserves... I'm not devoted enough to anything, really... But the last thing in the world I want to be is normal or (yech) ordinary. Are you sick of me bitching about this?

agg. I'm tired. My health's in a weird place right now (by right now I mean the past two years)- I'm still sick enough that I have real problems functioning on the same level as my fellow students sometimes, but at the same time I'm healthy enough that I really don't feel I have an excuse not to be functioning at 100%... If only I had more willpower...

Who votes I let her make me a new diary layout thing?

I've been watching a lot of Fushigi Yuugi lately... It's... good. Very good. Extremely addicting. It's not the most original series around, but it is one of the best. I think there's something to be said for doing what's already been done if you can do it better than anyone else did before you... I like Hotohori 'cause he's pretty, like me. who's a pretty boy? greyarea is!

Obscure band plug of the day- Sleater Kinney. Apparently it's pronounced "slayter kinney." They're a girl punk band, and they're good. Most of the time girls trying to yell doesn't seem to work, but Carrie does it very well. Not that it's all yelling or anything... Their music is great. Slightly embarrassing semi-anecdote- When I got this Sleater Kinney CD I have (All Hands on the Bad One), I thought, "Wow, those are some ugly chicks. Wait- ugly's not the right word. Weird looking would be a better description." Then I found out that they're lesbians (or bi or whatever) and I thought, "Oh yeah, that makes sense..." I feel like kind of a dick for having thought that, but... Am I revealing my biases here? Anyway, I got interested in Sleater Kinney mostly from mimi smartypants, one of my very favorite diarists. She's clever!

Seeing the forest from the trees is good.

she called me by his name...

i had such strange dreams last night...

where are we going?

these memories have begun.

would anybody tell me if i was getting... stupider?

i'll only hurt you in my dreams,


P.S. For some reason I'm not very happy with this entry... Maybe it'll grow on me.

P.P.S. Echoman kindly informed me of the actual story behind Electro-Shock Blues. "The story is that E's mother died of cancer and his sister committed suicide in an incredibly short span of it's like his whole family was dying. So he made a beautiful album as a sort of therapy."