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2005-06-30 3:52 p.m.

the advent of the nose

I was thinking about what I said last time about my ďlong-term game.Ē And really, itís almost that I donít have a game, I think, that I have a game. (ďI think not having a thing IS your thing.Ē) I like to think that, after a while, females realize that Iím not out to manipulate them for selfish reasons and that I am interested in them as human beings. Most women seem to like that. I dunno.

I started lap swimming some again this week. Honestly, itís been a little rough so far. I think Iíve been pushing my body a little farther than it can handle. But that, to me, is all the more reason to continue. Iíve fallen way out of shape, and Iím set to fall farther if I donít get back into things. I donít have the body of an eighteen year old any more!

Somehow waterís gotten stuck in my ear, though. Whatís the deal? I canít hear so well now, and itís really affected my ability to understand spoken Japanese. Annoying. How do I fix that?

It seems Iíve been a little down since going back. The Hawk commented on it today, even. Iím not quite sure why, which is especially aggravating since I thus have no idea how to fix it. Iíd be tempted to say itís one of those periodic bouts of culture shock, but I donít really feel particularly antagonistic towards Japan and Japanese culture right now, and this really started while I was in the U.S. and not after I came back. Iíve had a bunch of tiny annoyances lately, but I donít think thatís it, either. Iíd love to whine to you about it, but Iím not even sure what to whine about. Oh well. Weíll keep on keeping on.

Islands, Islands, Islands. I like islands. I think I like the way the word looks, as well. Iím going to another island next week. Good times.

My head hurts.

I wish I had a kitty.

Is it possible to play baseball with your nose? Would that require large nostrils? You could suck the ball up into your nostrils and then forcefully eject it by blowing your nose. So, I guess it would require considerable lung power, as well. Iíd pay to see that. Nose Baseball. I should trademark that before someone else snatches it up. This is the next big thing, baby. Trust me, you want to get in on this thing at the ground floor. Iím currently looking for investors. You could make millions, so give me your money now. I foresee an empire! Nose Soccer, Nose Basketball, Nose CurlingÖ And product tie-ins, like Hello Nose Kitty and Nose Candy Breakfast Cereal. The athletes who play Nose Sports will be called Nosers, and they will form societyís new elite. Those whose nostrils are less than three inches in diameter will be discriminated against and will form the new underclass. In time they will degenerate to the point that they are a drain on and even a threat to civilized Nose Society (Iím trademarking that, too! Donít even think about trying to weasel it out from under me! Itís mine! Everything thatís capitalized in this paragraph belongs to me!). Thus they will be liquidated, and we will have achieved the perfect society. And thatís just the five year plan! I think itís obvious that this is a sound investment. It canít fail!

Oh, did I mention I was riffraff last weekend, in Fukuoka? I got chased away by the cops and everything! It was cool.

donít wake me up without a master plan,