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2004-07-23 4:14 a.m.

the cactus where my heart should be

What a day.

I find it hard to believe how badly I fucked up my two most important goodbyes. And I'm just now realizing the full extent of how horrible I've been to two wonderful, amazing women.

Right now I'm feeling like the world would be a better place if I never got romantically involved again. The pain and torment I've wreaked recently (in the past twelve hours, especially) in that area is monumental. Get thee to a monastery, and all.

i will let you down
i will make you hurt

I guess I just need time. A lot of time.

i think i need a new heart,