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2000-08-03 02:37:13

the sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace

Ugh... I would really, really like to get the English translation box set of the manga of Kaze No Tani No Nausicaa. Fifty-five bucks from Amazon... But I HATE spending money. I'm trying to reduce my food intake in order to justify spending money on this and similar things (e.g. Sailor Moon tapes and other anime)... I'm even considering... getting a JOB. (GASP!) I had planned on waiting till next winter to get a job (as a research assistant), but... dang. I want Nausicaa RIGHT NOW! Things are always so much nicer to have when you had to sacrifice to get them. They MEAN something, man. And getting job would be a huge added stress right now. I'd probably have to wait till this play is over and done with before I could seriously consider it.

I do tend to make better use of my spare time when I don't have much of it.

"The gyro had widened; The Great Chain of Being had snapped like so many paper clips strung together by some drooling idiot; death, destruction, anarchy, progress, ambition, and self-improvement were to be Piers' new fate. And a vicious fate it was to be: now he was faced with the perversion of having to GO TO WORK."

That's one of my favorite quotes from Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. While we're at it, here's another:

"Personally, I would agitate quite adamantly if I suspected that anyone was attempting to help me upward towards the middle class. I would agitate against the bemused person who was attempting to help me upward, that is. The agitation would take the form of many protest marches complete with the traditional banners and posters, but these would say, "End the Middle Class," "The Middle Class Must Go." I am not above tossing a small Molotov cocktail or two, either. In addition, I would studiously avoid sitting near the middle class in lunch counters and on public transportation, maintaining the intrinsic honesty and grandeur of my being. If a middle class white were suicidal enough to sit next to me, I imagine I would beat him soundly about the head and shoulders with one great hand, tossing, quite deftly, one of my Molotov cocktails into a passing bus jammed with middle class whites with the other hand. Whether my siege were to last a month or a year, I am certain that ultimately everyone would let me alone after the total carnage and destruction of property had been evaluated."

In other news, I saw my best friend from my freshman year tonight for the first time in two years. He's been in Mexico. Now he speaks Spanish fluently and even has a slight Mexican accent when he speaks English. He talked Mexican to the McDonald's cashier lady tonight. It was weird. We'll be living together in a few weeks. The process of getting accustomed to each other again and the changes we've gone through in the last two years will be interesting.

It's August. Traditionally one of my favorite months. I'm also partial to October, December, and January. The spring months never really did it for me. May is alright, I suppose... I hate March and February. Because I hate slush and sleet. I want snow or rain, not some depraved conglomeration of the two. Snow = Good. Rain = Good. Snow + Rain = Bad.

Time just keeps on passing. The future just keeps on coming, and the past keeps getting further away. Sometimes it's annoying how little control we have over this process.

Sometimes I think I'd like to skip the next two years and get on to the good part. But I worry if I start seriously thinking like that I'll end up thinking like that the rest of my life. Somehow I've got to find a way to make my life into what I want it to be right here and right now. Wish me luck.

Dang, I'm deep, huh?

excuse the bitchin'
i shouldn't complain
i should have no feelin'
cause feeling is pain
cause everything i need
is denied me
and everything i want
is taken away from me
and who do i got to blame?
nobody but me

If had that Nausicaa manga, I'm sure everything would wonderful. ; > Eh, whatcha gonna do? Life goes on.

not all who wander are lost

The sky is hazy and the air smells like a campfire. The world is burning on the other side of the mountains...

sun moon stars rain,