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back on the horse
They�re having a staff meeting today at the elementary school. They kicked me out of the staff room. I�m writing this from the principal�s office. [sigh] I guess this way I don�t feel guilty for not even pretending to pay attention to the proceedings, like at the middle school. I�m still tinkering with Forex. Since I formulated the main points of my master plan, it hasn�t been taking up nearly so much of my time, though. The details aren�t strictly determined yet, but if things proceed as I have forseen (mwa ha), I�ll start doing it with real money in about two weeks. Have I told you that Bush hates science? Oh yeah, I have. Here�s an interesting article on eliminating extreme poverty. I was interested to learn that poverty has actually been declining the last twenty years. Africa is still screwed, but� Huh. Reason for optimism. �If rich nations fail to make these investments [to eradicate extreme poverty in the world], they will be called on to provide emergency assistance more or less indefinitely. They will face famine, epidemics, regional conflicts and the spread of terrorist havens. And they will condemn not only the impoverished countries but themselves as well to chronic political instability, humanitarian emergencies and security risks.� So let�s get this taken care of, already! I wonder what the best places for individuals to donate are� Another article on the big picture: the difficulties we as a species face in the next few decades and what needs to be done to get through them. I was interested to find that world population is expected to plateau around 2050. The article reminded me of how Social Security/pension debates tend to annoy me. Trying to get people to have more children so we can ensure there will always be ten working stiffs supporting each retiree and stuff. Uhh, maybe we should be looking to switch to a system that DOESN�T require eternal exponential growth in order to remain viable? Huh? How �bout that? �Cause the growth WILL stop, one way or the other. We can do it the easy way or the hard way. Or maybe it�s the hard way and the harder way, but still. I was thinking lately how most people are primarily concerned with their own immediate circumstances above all else. And I realized that that�s not necessarily a bad thing. That�s the way it should be. Of course nature would want to design us that way. You have to worry about where today�s food is going to come from before you worry about where next year�s food is going to come from. You have to have your own shit together before you can worry about someone else�s. But we still have to step away from the trees and look at the forest on a regular basis if we want to identify incoming forest fires and make the arrangements to survive them. It sure is a fascinating time to be alive. Not exactly a reassuring time to be alive, but when has it ever been? I�m pretty excited to see how this melodrama unfolds. Will humanity get it figured out and ensure its future? Or will modern society, if not the entire species, implode in upon itself? Stay tuned. So, Yakushima was lovely. Just wonderful. It�s probably my favorite place that I�ve been to in Japan, and one of the most beautiful places I�ve ever seen. Zion�s National Park is the only other significant contender, I think. (WTF says the most beautiful place in the world is the human heart. She says it�s also the most ugly place.) I�ve never seen a place with so much freshwater flowing everywhere� I was only able to spend about 27 hours on Yakushima, though. I hope I can get back there sometime. The second day I was there I had to leave by 1 pm, so I was up on the mountain by 6 am (well, actually it was 7 am, but only because there were complications in transportation). I saw virtually no one until around 10 am, though by the time I came back down at 11 the place was swarming. I think the possibility of being able to experience such places in relative solitude actually outweighs the crapitude of waking up at 5 am. I�ll have to remember that. The boat to Okinawa was fun. I saw lots of flying fish. The sky was beautiful, and the ocean was such a weird and beautiful shade of blue. On the way back the moon was blood red. In Okinawa I visited the old palace of the king of the Ryukyu Kingdom (I didn�t realize it was independent from Japan until the late 1800s), an old underground navy base from World War II (I love stuff like that), and an old Okinawan karate master (that was� informative). I also went scuba diving. On the way down to Okinawa I was always staring at the sea, wondering. What the hell is DOWN there? From the boat it just looks a bottomless void, but of course it�s teeming with life, even more so than the surface. I wanted to break through and see what�s there. So when I got to Okinawa and was trying to think of things to do, scuba was the obvious choice. And it was truly lovely. We went out to some reefs around some little islands (the Kerama Islands) about 40 km (16 miles) east of Naha Port. I very much enjoyed it and was very glad I went, though I was reminded of why I haven�t dived much since getting my license: it�s really expensive, and it�s murder on my eardrums. To offset my scuba diving expenses, I hitchhiked from Kagoshima to Fukuoka on the way back. My drivers, one in particular, were jaw-droppingly generous to me. And then on Saturday evening I met up with WTF in Fukuoka. It was kind of weird to be with her there, to be with her in a place that�s familiar to me. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe (which she loves). The last time I went there was with Kami (who I haven�t heard a word from since April-ish). The Hard Rock Cafe is right outside the Fukuoka Dome, and as it turned out her favorite band was doing a stadium concert right there as we ate. B�z (pronounced like honey �bees�). They�re pretty freaking huge in Japan, I guess. (My students seem to prefer Orange Range, though). And the girl loves her B�z. I don�t know if I�ve ever known anyone as devoted to a single band as she is to B�z. I wish I could have taken her to see them. (She did see them in concert in May, though.) Around the time the concert got out the place started filling up with B�z fans and they started playing nothing but B�z videos. WTF enjoyed it immensely. There was one song that came on that has hand motions associated with it, and it seemed like every last person in the place besides me was doing them, all together. Those people really like B�z, man. We tried the kissing thing again, and it went much better this time. We also held hands and stuff. And we're constantly writing each other sappy emails and letters. I guess we are an item now. I really, really like her. She charms the hell out of me. And this is definitely a case where my interest in the relationship is nearly all straight out of my own heart and not a reflection of someone else�s interest in me (though her interest me seems considerable). I feel astounding amounts of affection for her. I just want to hug her and cuddle her and run my fingers through her hair and make her feel wanted, respected, loved, and secure. She's so... considerate. She ALWAYS stands up and offers her seat to old people on trains and buses, and she's always really quick to alert people when they drop something... She's so conscientious and upstanding. And I'm starting to act more like that, too. It's almost as if she's making me a... better person. She told me she feels like she can be herself with me. I was happy she said that. That is exactly the feeling I want to give to my friends and lovers. When we were on the beach, she drew a little design on the sand that looked like a cloud, but extra fuzzy on the bottom (the extra fuzziness is important, apparently). She said that�s how it feels to be with me. Besides all the things that really worry me, I feel really optimistic about this. Honestly, though, sometimes the message I get from her is quite similar to the first track on The Magnetic Fields� 69 Love Songs: don�t fall in love with me yet My heart urges me forward, though. My heart says it has only felt like this a few times in my life (though my brain says that doesn�t necessarily mean anything). My heart says it will be worth it. I think I�ve gotten a lot more impulsive, maybe even a little reckless, the last year or two. I�m a lot more willing to make decisions without investigating and thinking about things as much. Or, alternatively, I'm less likely to get bogged down with indecision. I�m also happy to accept whatever consequences that may bring and I�m always curious to see what those consequences will be. Maybe I�m experimenting. I think it may be the influence of all the Zen stuff I�ve been reading. Que sera sera, dude! �In the words of the ancients, one should make his decisions within the space of seven breaths. Lord Takanobu said, �If discrimination is long, it will spoil.� Lord Naoshige said, �When matters are done leisurely, seven out of ten will turn out badly. A warrior is a person who does things quickly.� I wrote that chick a 25 page handwritten letter, people. In Japanese. I didn�t even know I was capable of such a thing. It doesn�t seem that long ago that I was proud of myself for composing a single sentence in Japanese. My relationship with her has definitely pushed my Japanese to the next level. It�s still hard, though. I just can�t express myself precisely in Japanese. If my English is a scalpel, my Japanese is a bone saw. Among other things, in the letter I related some salient autobiographical points, expressed my strong interest in a relationship with her, and expressed what doubts I have about a relationship and what might be done to minimize them. I�m meeting her in Fukuoka again this weekend. I believe we will discuss the contents of the letter. That will be interesting. baby i�m scared of a lot of things well, i�ve been dragged all over the place �cause people will say all kinds of things well i may be just a fool Wish me luck. I'm going in. i still don�t like to leave before the end of the movie, greyarea
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