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2000-09-29 2am

paranoia

Tonight I watched Trey Parker and Matt Stone feed bacon to a pig.

I haven't been able to find time to update this thing much recently. I haven't found time for anything either productive or fun recently, it seems like. Makes me wonder what the hell I have been doing... oh yeah. going to play rehearsal.

Today my roommate (who freaked out at the last college he was at and hopped a bus for Indiana in the middle of the semester) introduced me to his friend as "A guy who is as bitter as I am, and maybe even more antisocial." I have to admit, I find that amusing.

I'm taking a latin dance class now. I think I "get" latin dancing a lot more than I did standard. Any gentleman of culture must of course know how to waltz, but latin dancing is more the kind of thing my body wants to do. I can't help but smile when I'm doing it.

I believe I am possessed of a healthy paranoia. I'm very careful about locking things up and keeping valuables out of sight when I leave them in my car. I keep locks on the zippers of my backpack. I realized the reason I feel vaguely uncomfortable when I'm not sitting in the back of the class or against the wall in a restaurant is because I don't like having people behind my back. When I'm walking along a road, I watch every car that goes by, preparing myself to jump on the hood in the event a car swerves at me. I think it's also a big reason why I started learning karate- you never know when you might have to deal out an ass kicking... I call my paranoia "healthy" because I don't think it crosses the line into pathological and because it might just pay off someday. Maybe it already has.

I'm a very safe driver, too. "A car is not a toy." It's such a trite phrase, but it's true. Modern automobiles are a result of our willingness to risk our lives (and toss away thousands of other lives every year) in exchange for convenience. Accident fatality rates don't change that much as a result of safer automobiles. Because the safer the automobile, the more recklessly the operator is likely to drive. Stupid humans.

Seriously, most people probably shouldn't breed. Well, maybe not MOST, but A LOT.

tell me tell me what you're after
i just want to get their faster

"Life, though it may be only an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it." (that's from Frankenstein- great book)

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."

But music makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it?

My roommates and I have started a poetry wall. We all write little poems whenever we feel like it and then tack them up on the wall. Most first time visitors are forced to make a submission, as well. I'd put some examples of my poetry here, except for the fact that I know what would go through the mind of my hypothetical reader if I were to do that- "Oh wonderful. Now the stupid bastard is posting his idiotic poetry on his online diary. Next he'll probably start using letters and numbers to replace their homophones. i wanted 2 show this 2 u. i wrote it 4 u. don't ask y. u'll c.' Scrape my eyes out with a blunt spatula- I cannot tolerate this printed chloroform violating my retinas anymore." So, I won't. But if you're curious, you know who to ask.

(ME. You'd ask ME. hypothetically speaking)

("You know... the international language...")

Opening night of the play is a week from tonight. I'm thinking of writing a book called, "My Life With the Theater People." (I have to stop myself from spelling it "theatre." Do they spell it like that in Britain, or is it just French?)

One bright note- I finally learned how to say, "I don't care" in Japanese. "kamawanai" This is a very useful phrase for He of the Fragile Indifference.

; P

Diaryland