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2003-12-02 10:43 p.m.


Today I was the closest to peeing my pants that I have been since... uhh... the last time I peed my pants.

I'm a little nervous that The Last Samurai is going to make my little novel seem a touch... unoriginal. Just to make it clear in the event there is any thematic overlap, I was NOT INFLUENCED BY LAST friggin SAMURAI. But this may be moot. I'll have to see the film.

By the way, once I get the thing as good as I can get it on my own, I'm gonna want input. So if you want to be one of my peer reviewers, let me know. I want you to do it. Really. Puweeeeze.

Today I went to a dinner with grownups and spent the whole time talking with a seven year old.

I seem to get on well with children. I like the way they think, not yet forced into social norms. They don't have fixed ideas of what's socially normal behavior and what's not, and thus when I just say whatever off the wall thing I'm thinking, it's just a normal conversation to them. Grownups just look at me weird.

So I usually keep my mouth shut.

Thus my reputation for being a sullen boy.

Also, I remember once as a child making a promise to myself that I would never forget what it was like to be a kid, as so many adults do. I'd like to think that I succeeded.

There are certain aspects of the child's personality that I've tried very hard to maintain. Kids get so excited about stuff, like, say, seeing a cow, or something. And you know, the world around us is pretty amazing and cool. Just because you've seen it a few times already doesn't make it any less astounding. I really try hard to preserve my sense of wonder.

But I can be coldly analytical, as well, often at the same time as I'm acting all weird or whatever.

I get the feeling that this entry sucks. I'm just, like, writing stuff, and stuff.

psht. Let's put it out of its misery, already.

it takes courage to enjoy it,