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2004-12-07 10:56 a.m.

wheels and motion

"I calculated the odds of me succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid and well... I went ahead with it anyway."

So... Hey.

What's up? How are you?



I'm fine.

So, I kissed a drunk Japanese girl over the weekend. Made out in an elevator for the first time (that's gotta be another square on the bingo board of life, right?). Though I haven't mentioned her here, I've actually known her since August (she lives on the mainland, in the prefecture next door). I was stone cold sober, myself (though I was really, really tired), but... I dunno. I knew she really wanted to, and towards the end of the night (this happened to be at the same club I got kissed in last time; that place is a black hole!) I just thought, "Ah, what the hell! Let's do it!"

The next day we played it off legit, but it's obvious she's gunning for me now. She's coming to the Rock on Sunday to spend the day with me. Let's call her... "Kami."

I'm not sure what I think about this. She is pretty cool, and her English is pretty darn good, and I think she and I could be great friends, but... I don't know. There are some things about her that don't quite sit right with me, just at the moment. She knows I'm leery about getting into a relationship right now (she also claimed, before getting drunk, that she wasn't looking for a relationship, either), and she knows about Junko and that I'm still thinking about her a lot, so... Fair warning.

[Aside: Whenever I explain my relationship with Junko to people, depending on what tack I take, I either get asked "Why did you dump her if that's how you feel?" or "Why did you stay with her so long, if that's how you feel?" It's very confusing.]

So, yes. Vertigo.

In addition, this sudden display of interest kind of made me think I should take a more active role in my lady situation, and not necessarily just hook up with the first one who's willing to do most of the work herself (that being Kami).

So, last night I asked MT out for dinner on Friday. She agreed. In fact, during the course of the conversation she showed brief glimpses of a side of her personality that I'd never seen before. The word that comes to mind is "coy," but perhaps that's not quite right. She just seemed the slightest bit... flirty, which I hadn't gotten from her before. Anyway, I think that means it was a Hell Yes, and not a I-Don't-Really-Want-To-But-I-Don't-Want-To-Be-Rude Yes.

I guess... I want to make sure and explore my options before I settle on one in particular (or none at all). I promise to be a good boy. I won't get serious with one without letting the other know that it's not going to happen. And there's still a very vocal constituent of my brain arguing in favor of remaining alone for the near future. Not to mention the JIL faction is still lurking in the hills, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

(Sophie seems set to drop off the radar soon. I think she really likes me, just not "in that way." Which is a damn shame, because I'm really pleased with the nickname I came up with for her.)

[Warning: More boring stuff ahead.]

Anyway, the reason I went to Fukuoka this weekend was to take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. Despite my earlier trash talking, it didn't go as well as I would have liked.

The kanji and vocabularly section was more difficult than I expected. I finished right on time, with no time to check my work. The listening section actually went really well, for the most part. I think I got 90 to 95% of it right. The reading and grammar section was something of a wash, though. You have 70 minutes for that section, but I lost track of time on the reading section and failed to pace myself properly. When they called "5 minutes remain!" I was only about one third of the way into the grammar part. I probably ended up putting down answers to one half to two thirds of the grammar section, and much of that was in quite a rush. The good news is that the reading comprehension section is more heavily weighted than the grammar section, and I'm confident I got nearly all of the reading questions right (even if it took me forever).

I never used to have problems pacing myself on tests. But besides this test, I also had pacing troubles on both the General GRE and the Chemistry Subject Test. What gives? Also, when I took the practice test I didn't have pacing problems, either. Though I wasn't the only one caught totally off guard by the five minute call. The Chinese girl (from Hong Kong) sitting next to me who had earlier been bragging about how easy the test was found herself in the same situation (though I think it says something good about her that after the earlier braggadocio she readily admitted, without me even asking, that she bombed the third section). (I was also a little surprised to find that about 90% of the test takers were East Asians. I had expected a fair number to take the test, but I hadn't expected them to be such an overwhelming majority.)

Anyway, after that I was feeling pretty crap about my Japanese ability. [Feeling "pretty crap?" I've been hanging out with Brits too much.] I seem to go back and forth between thinking my Japanese is pretty damn good and that I'm well on my way to near-perfect fluency and thinking that my Japanese totally sucks and I'll never ever get it, EVER. Sunday was definitely the latter. But that night after getting home, I was laughing my ass off at something on TV, when I realized, "Hey. I understand Japanese TV! [More or less.] Maybe there's hope, after all."

Anyway, you need 60% overall to pass. I'm about 80% certain that I got at least 60% of the test right, so... Fingers crossed. I'll receive the results in February.

the shallow drowned lose less than we,